I want to have a moment of realness with you and tell you a story.
A few days ago I was chatting with a good friend of mine, Dave. There is something about that guy that makes me sort of blurt out things that I would normally hold tight to and keep to myself (probably has to do with him being a really good journalist. He is so good at pulling all of the stuff out of me). We were talking about how the past few years have been difficult for us (for different reasons) and we were encouraging one another to really work this year to step outside of those struggles.
I heard myself say something out loud and his reaction reminded me that I need to do it more...share more…with you. I said “While I have accomplished what many would call “success” in my music career so far, I know that I have never truly felt deserving of any of it.” His reaction was along the lines of “WOW. Really?! I would have NEVER guessed you feel that way.”
This mindset has been the reason why I have essentially blocked myself from attaining a higher level of “success” in my career. It’s amazing how much we can control our outcomes with what we believe about ourselves.
Last year I decided that I was going to move forward with my music career in a different way and take ownership of the future of my career. I decided that I was going to do it on my own and learn the hard lessons that come along with all of that.
Putting together budgets for recording, marketing, touring, etc…
Putting together a Patreon page for my fan family to connect with me on a deeper level.
Asking for help. (this is a really hard one for me).
Deciding that I am deserving.
Deciding that I offer value to the people who discover and connect with my music. (another hard one).
Opening up to those people and showing myself as human and not some manufactured artist with a plastic image.
Saying “you’re welcome” when someone thanks me for the songs that helped them. I’ve always deflected the thank you’s with a mirrored response of “thank you for listening.” This subtle reaction is not honoring my art or my people.
2019 will be the year for me. The year of growth, mistakes, excitement, connection, honesty and really beautiful music. I am happy to have you here for the journey forward. May we all feel deserving of what we desire in life.